Weijian Zhang
October 20, 2016

Even worse, struggled out of bed at 8 a.m. Can you believe it. There is a dangerous time at around 6 a.m., which is the sweet zone I target by sleeping early at 9 p.m. I would in fact wake up then, but then the peace and gray comfort lull me back to an aborted, fitful nap-thing that destroys whatever tranquility I had. I'd wake up off-cycle, two hours later, feeling as if I had only slept that much the entire night, and day's ruined. I need to figure something out!

I only had time to type for like twenty minutes. I don't feel very good about the Chapter 3 outline. I left too much out and didn't do enough solid decision-making. I'm going to pay for it during the drafting, which is next. I am feeling hella impatient right now. I'm going to rush it and mourn.

I drank Soylent for breakfast. Really fast and felt kind of sick. I drank fast because the bus was coming and I didn't want to carry the bottle around with me and I was about three-quarters done.

I don't remember anything about the morning commute. Tomorrow, I will pick one person out from the crowd and just kind of really look at them. Enough to remember them to describe at the end of the day here.

I didn't like work today because I could have done better. I do the minimum as default and it feels crappy. It's negligence, or willful harm through inaction.

My new thing was a lunch place again. A total cop-out. I need to come up with ways to even start thinking about how I could do new things. So terrible. Something tells me I need to do something with people to have this really count. It always goes back to people. It's meaningless to listen to a new song every day. Or eat something new. All passive things. I'm looking for something like talking to a new person every day. That kind of shit.

I still sat at my dark desk, but I turned on the lights. Win.

This is the last weekend before the trip. I have to get organized and pack.

I'm spending so much money. Octobers are hella expensive. I just bought C some perfect push-up rotating things. I sent R a book earlier. I still need to get G his present.