Got out of the house as fast as I could. Drove, anywhere. Lands End. Wandered aimlessly. Enchante, for just a little while before it closed. Wandered some more. Everything closed. Japantown, why not. Ramen closed. Mall closed. The market was open surprisingly. Got some onigiri out of habit. Then some curry because I really wanted Volcano Curry and they were closed and I didn't want to accept that defeat. Went into Kabuki for no reason. It was warm at least. I stared emptily at the showtimes. Mom called. I said I would be back for dinner. Regretted answer immediately. Called back, no, I won't be back. I still had nowhere to go. There was at least a movie at AMC Van Ness that I didn't know anything about. Lion. Didn't want to rush the 4:30 time so bought the next one at 7:15. Could I get in so early? Didn't have to worry at all, the guy didn't care or check the time. Spent long ass time waiting around. Read Brandon Sanderson story. It was calculated as usual. Bought popcorn and hella expensive candy. Not worth it but whatever I didn't care. Waited some more while the cleaning people cleaned; seemed they forgot about the little theater. Lots of old people watched it with me. It was sappy at times and not that great. India is full of pedophiles ready to round up and catch the street urchins, apparently, or blinding them to make begging slaves. I just feel gross by my food choices. It's so piecemeal and random. I miss cooking for myself, or having a sense of ownership over my space. Christmas was like this last year too. New Years coming up will be the same. I have nowhere to go. Fuck this. Worst day. At least next week cafes and restaurants and libraries will be open. I don't think I can handle anymore of this.