Lunch with mom and V at one hot pot place. Good. Egg puffs. Didn't like to be roped into driving people around, that seems to be my main benefit. Hate that feeling. Also, cause I woke up late, that was pretty much my day. Hate, hate, hate the afternoon. I shouldn't hate spending time with mom and family doing these all-good things like shopping for groceries and the plastic stool for grandma and all this, and I don't hate it hate it, I hate not being in control, in easy control, of my own time. I hate nothing more than that. I could say no, but that would offend and I would have to deal with people's emotions and I really really hate dealing with all that. I just want to be alone and I want to be free.
Made the most of the afternoon by immediately going to Starbucks. Finished the draft of Chapter 4! This was the highlight and peak of my day for all the reasons that it was the opposite of the day earlier. I was in full control, doing what I need, want to, the only thing I can see my future doing, my dream, progress toward that ultimate goal, the only thing keeping me going. It made up for all the bad feelings and shit today.
Watched more Youtube and people going to Iceland. I wish that was my trip. My trip was lame compared to what they did. But that is exactly why I wanted to go back. No more stupid ass tourist shit. I'm going to drive out there and see it for myself. With better company than C too. I want it I want it.