Woke up feeling great! Then doozed off like always into hours of fitful dreams and oversleeping drowse. It's self-sabotage of the finest caliber. I of course capped it off by doing what I insisted I wouldn't do which was to sit slouched in bed on my phone for hours on Reddit, hurting my back and just generally feeling miserable because I had to pee and the morning was draining in front of my eyes. Mom was also in the other room throwing up. It was the epitome of a bad day full of every component of sorrow and helplessness and passivity. I even hid in the bathroom waiting for parents to go to the hospital so I didn't have to confront how sick mom was.
I came out of the bathroom when dad told me that he would be back to cook lunch. I couldn't stand it. I said I would be out so they won't have to worry about making lunch for me. I didn't say the you don't have to worry about making lunch for me part. He said ok and tell grandma that I'll be back and cook for her.
I drove to Fresh Choice and it tasted poor. I spent almost three hours there on my phone, on Reddit. I then moved to the parking lot and reclined and closed my eyes for a time, read more Reddit. The light was fading. It was getting cold. I at least should drive back to the city and park along Sunset or somewhere closer. Headed to Starbucks, thinking that's where I wanted to go. It wasn't. I parked a block away and shivered for an hour with my hood up trying not to fall completely asleep. I didn't want to go home too early, but I couldn't last another minute.