Writing in the morning again. I need this therapy. Changed things to try to keep this more private. I would die if anyone found out who I was. It would also make this less of a sanctuary for me. I need anonymity. I'm not sure why I don't just keep this offline. I think the hope of someone out there reading it thrills me. Perfect strangers. However anti social I am, and however much I hate human contact and dealing with people, I still have this tiny, barest of threads of needing human connection. That's something I should remember.
I woke up because I was having peeing dreams again and needed to pee bad. Just as I was about to open my door, grandma opened hers and went into the bathroom. I don't know how often these sort of coincidences and collisions happen, but it was right bad timing. I headed downstairs to my aunt and cousin's room and used their bathroom. I had a flash of how wonderful it would be when I lived there in that space. I want it want it.
Going to give up Reddit again. I really hate that site. It doesn't make me feel good.
Oh, I should see if they launched the rocket.
I'm stuck in my room, by my own neurosis and not wanting to interact with people, natch, relatives outside. It's getting harder to use the excuse of me going outside for lunch. I hate everything about this.