Weijian Zhang
2017 2016
08 07 06 05 04 03 02 01
31 30 29 28 27 26 25 24 23 22 21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 09 08 07 06 05 04 03 02 01

Cold's over. Today was legitimately warm. I could feel it as a depth thing. Bugs are everywhere now.

It's another horrible listless Monday. I didn't think Mondays would be remarkably different from other crappy days, but it really has, the past few bad days have been Mondays. I feel super useless at work, no motivation, not trying at all, just waiting for them to fire me. I have no traction in my other projects. No writing. No exercise. I'm just wasting time watching Youtube. I take samples throughout the day and I felt crappy at all of them, a hollow, empty kind of crappy that extends back a bit in the past and a bit into the future, and both sides are just as empty and bleak as the present moment.

If I get enough money, I never want to be where spring is. I will fly the hell away and fly back when it's over. It's as anti-me as anything.

I will check my lotto ticket today because I feel horrible. It's the wrong time to find out I didn't win, but whatever.