Cold's over. Today was legitimately warm. I could feel it as a depth thing. Bugs are everywhere now.
It's another horrible listless Monday. I didn't think Mondays would be remarkably different from other crappy days, but it really has, the past few bad days have been Mondays. I feel super useless at work, no motivation, not trying at all, just waiting for them to fire me. I have no traction in my other projects. No writing. No exercise. I'm just wasting time watching Youtube. I take samples throughout the day and I felt crappy at all of them, a hollow, empty kind of crappy that extends back a bit in the past and a bit into the future, and both sides are just as empty and bleak as the present moment.
If I get enough money, I never want to be where spring is. I will fly the hell away and fly back when it's over. It's as anti-me as anything.
I will check my lotto ticket today because I feel horrible. It's the wrong time to find out I didn't win, but whatever.